Dessers continues to perplex and change opinion as Rangers’ No 9. “In common with many other media organisations, we may have in the past given the impression that we thought…” This is the template for the classic ‘So-and-so: An Apology’ feature regularly employed by Private Eye to satirise the tendency for journalists to switch sides and opinions depending on the prevailing mood while also seeking to curry favour with individuals. Whatever could they mean? It’s poppycock of course. For example, in common with all football writers and pundits, I’ve always considered Cyriel Dessers to be a striker worthy of wearing the Rangers No 9 shirt and at no time have I deemed him to be an imposter, a charlatan, a player more likely to get a manager the sack than help them win trophies. No, that definitely wasn’t me, no sirree. But if I did somehow manage to convey that impression, I would like, in the style of Private Eye, to apologise for any confusion caused by such ambiguous earlier statements while stating for the record that Mr Dessers is a striker par excellence. He is more than worthy to follow in the distinguished footsteps of the likes of Ally McCoist, Derek Johnstone and Ralph Brand.
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